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Insecurities catch you unawares. And I thought I was really strong. Rational at least. So why do I get hit almost worse than others, when I think about my best friend's new best friend, my latest crush, my ex boyfriend's new love(rs) and all such? I feel miserable, and I feel stupid and petty and jealous, all for nothing really. My clear-headedness to see things for what they are, should save the day, but no. instead I almost double over with a helpless feeling of utter hatred, sadness and contempt for myself and the person. End up wallowing in self-pity, which is against the very nature that makes me. Can't do nothing, logic doesn't help, and I have enough to fill a swimming pool at such moments.
But that's in the past. The good news is, I just managed to get out of it. A few realizations brought about when I’m relatively calmer, helped.

The thing is, my relationships with other people should only be judged for their own merits. And their relationships with people other than myself, is again, separate from what they share with me. I don't know why I’m writing this down here, but it's important I don't forget for the sake of my own sanity. We are the only ones who can kill ourselves. No one else can. No one can hurt us if we don't allow it. But that's a different story. Most often, people close to us aren't looking to hurt us at all. They just don't think of us all the time. You can't expect them to. I don't think of every other person I share a relationship with, for everything I do. They form a general background, a trust I shall never break, a sacred thing, not up for discussion at the moment. Only because what's happening right now, what I’m doing has no real relation to them. I would only stop, think and not proceed with whatever I’m doing, if I know it'll hurt them and if it is really directly connected, and not just good for the person's ego. And I shall know. It’s nicer to credit people you share relationships, with the same sort of trust. Then you are good. Trusting is easier. People usually live up to it. Also, it immensely helps your well-being if you can go to bed easy, without carrying stupid, unnecessary, unconnected hang-ups. Often, it's only a frame of mind. Not a real danger at all. We are quicker to judge, doubt, and slower to trust or appreciate, even if the latter two are actually more appropriate for the situation. I’m trying this out. It really helps.

Despite all this, sometimes irrationality overpowers you. You just need to have some good TLC, and understanding, from a few people close to you, to get through.